I've found my pity place and I'm throwing a huge party - feel free to join in. I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm mad. If I were my 2 year old I would be on my tummy right now kicking and screaming in a full blown tantrum- assuming I had the energy, of course. Instead of throwing a tantrum on the floor, I'll just write about it.
I am 97.6% sure that I am having a flare, however it feels like a muted version, as my sugar-daddy anti-RA drug (Enbrel) seems to be working for me and I am not feeling the full force of the flare. I am trying - 1 mg less per day each month - to get off my Prednisone. I have posted before about my love/hate relationship with Prednisone - but I feel it is time to part ways, but what is the cost? I have been reducing my Prednisone from 10 mg per day down to 4 mg per day now - which I am excited about. However I have noticed that I have had a few mini-flares recently, so I am now paying the price of less prednisone. RA Guy has blogged about Diclofenac injections, and I have made a note to ask my rheumatologist about this on my next visit.
I am also paying the price of a way-too-big-day at work this past week. Our company hosted a drop-in party for 100 contractors and I (as usual) helped out with food prep all day - leaving me on my feet using my hands. My right thumb said a big "screw you" by not functioning properly for the following 2 days and the rest of me woke up feeling like a bus/excavator/street paver/steamroller/passenger train ran over me (can you tell I have a 4 year old boy?). In sum, I feel like crap.
I'm mad at myself for not speaking up. You'd think that after 18 years of living with RA, I would know my limits and be able to speak up. Somehow I prioritized work over my health and wound up on the couch, tired and in pain. Usually I'm a pretty smart cookie. Usually.