Motherhood & RA

I have 2 beautiful, healthy and happy kids - who have a lot of questions. Patrick is 4.5 and very observant and starting to ask questions.

What is that box in the fridge for mommy? (that would be my Enbrel).

What does that thing on your wrist do? (that would be my wrist splint from a recent flare).

Do you still have an owie on your shoulder? Can I kiss it better? (that would be my 5 inch scar on my left shoulder from my total shoulder replacement in May.)

Why are you so tired mommy, do you need a nap? (that one could be asked daily)

While they are too young now, what do I tell them about mommy’s ongoing "owie"? How would they ever understand? I’m not sure I understand. I can just hear Patrick’s inevitable question “Why?” - taken to the nth degree as only 4 year old can. For now, I'm sticking with the basics of mommy needs some extra medication to help her. I think that is enough, for now.

I worry, though, about the future. How will my RA progress? What will/won't I be able to do? Will I be able to dance at Patrick's wedding? And worst of all - every parent's nightmare - will they also get (J)RA?

I know consciously I need to focus on the here and now, and not live in the future. But my sub conscious has a mind of its own, and still, I worry ...