Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dreaded Tuesdays

Weeks pass - they come and go. Life is busy with work, family, friends, groceries, errands and everything in between. For some reason, every Tuesday, the world stands still just a little. Tuesday night is the dreaded Enbrel night. I started taking Enbrel in June of this year, to combat some of the damage RA has wreaked on my body. So far I have 1 replaced shoulder with one to go. I'd like to keep the joint replacements to a minimum, if possible.

Every Tuesday after dinner, I start thinking about it. And dreading it. Given my medical history of shoulder replacement, countless vials of blood, gestational diabetes and untold numbers of joint injections you would think that a little needle each week would not be an insurmountable task. Well, some weeks it is. At the beginning I would sit on the edge of my bed staring at my thigh for 20 minutes, willing myself to just get on with it. Other times, I would have my husband sit next to me so I would move it along a little faster.

It doesn't hurt that much. But I dread it nonetheless. In a week of moving from one thing to the next, and ignoring my RA, this causes me to pause and take a moment to consider my health. Sometimes I just don't want to do that.

Lately I've been getting better. The dread starts as I head up the stairs for bed. I quickly gather my alcohol wipes, kleenex (for the bleeders I have sometimes), a band-aid and my auto-injector of Enbrel. I take less than 3 minutes these days, and just right down to business. 1,2,3 and in she goes. I'm getting better at it, but that doesn't mean that I like it...


Helen said...

I've been taking Enbrel for 6 years, and while I love what it does for my RA, I'm still not 100% used to actually injecting it. I always have to take a few minutes to psych myself up beforehand.

Great blog - I just found it through Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy. I'm looking forward to reading more!

Terry said...

I used Enbrel for 6 years before it stopped working for me. I just recently started on Orencia. I know what you are saying about dreading it. I had a huge fear of needles when I was diagnosed, at first it would sometimes take me 5 - 10 minutes to work up enough nerve to inject myself. The last 3 or 4 years, it was no big deal, just mix it up and pop it in my leg. It's amazing what you can adjust to.

Anonymous said...

You've had a rough journey, Meghan (I just read all of your posts). And you've been incredibly brave from the start. You still are, even if you do have to work yourself up for that jab every Tuesday evening, and dread it. You're made of some strong stuff, and you're an inspiration. Thank you for telling your story. I'm looking forward to your future posts.